Archive for killer condom

Goregirl’s TOP 10 Favourite Horror Films From 1996

Posted in horror, movies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2013 by goregirl

There was the regular volume of 90s mud to wade through and a few of the worst of the worst were mainstream efforts which included The Island of Dr. Moreau, Mary Reilly and Diabolique but I still managed to pull together what I think is a solid top ten. There have not been a whole lot of repeat directors showing up on these 90s list but 1996 is an exception with Dario Argento, Peter Jackson, Shozin Fukui and Wes Craven all having their second entries! Film number one earned a 5/5 rating, films two through nine are films I rated 4/5 and film ten I rated 3.5/5. I gave one other film from 1996 a 3.5/5 which was Ebola Syndrome.

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#10 KILLER CONDOM
Directed By: Martin Walz

Killer Condom is based on the comic book of the same name by Ralf König. Apparently H. R. Giger was a creative consultant on the project. Killer Condom is a German film spoken in German that is set in New York?! Men in New York are losing their penises to the titular Killer Condom’s and Luigi Mackaroni is on the case. Luigi Mackaroni is a man who knows the streets of New York; a well-seasoned, chain smoking openly gay detective who is well known at the particular hotel where it all started. While Killer Condom definitely has a sleazy vibe and an outrageous premise neither the violence nor nudity is graphic; it is more campy than exploitative. It features a super Luigi sized killer condom, a mad scientist, a self-righteous pious villain and a lot of adorable little rubbers that make giggly cartoony noises. If that isn’t enough it has a love story and a heart warming happy ending! Killer Condom kept my attention and made me laugh often. To read the full review click here.

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#9 GAMERA 2: ATTACK OF THE LEGION
Directed By: Shûsuke Kaneko

Gamera! I mean really?! Who amoung us does not love a giant flying turtle?! Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion is one of the many entertaining post 80s Kaiju flicks I am discovering is well worth visiting. In Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion; the Legion refers to a species of alien insects that landed via meteor and have created a home in the city’s subway. The Legion is causing the oxygen levels to rise which explode their flower thingies with an end game of colonization. Gamera to the rescue! Tons of destruction, huge spectacular Kaiju battles, cool monster effects (some of the best I have seen in a Kaiju film!) and action galore make Gamera 2: Attack of the Legion an absolute must see bit of entertainment!

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#8 SPLATTER: NAKED BLOOD
Directed By: Hisayasu Sato

Splatter: Naked Blood is about a trio of women who volunteer to test a chemical contraceptive. The doctor’s son however is looking to conduct his own experiment and injects his own potion into his mother’s with horrific results. Splatter: Naked Blood has some nasty gore, weirdness, nudity, sex, laughs, nifty sound effects and a neato soundtrack. Be warned, the gore is nasty, but if that is your thing, have at it! To read my full review click here. I couldn’t find a trailer for the film, but I think this clip says it all.

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#7 THE STENDHAL SYNDROME
Directed By: Dario Argento

The Stendhal Syndrome is based on psychologist’s Graziella Magherini book about the affliction. Argento himself apparently once suffered from Stendhal Syndrome when he was a child. Detective Anna Manni is struck by the titular torment while at a museum. The detective is on the trail of a serial killer who uses the infirmity against her. Asia Argento plays Detective Manni and goes through the full gamut of emotions and is at times vulnerable, sad, and fierce; I think it is one of her best performances and despite looking terribly young and fresh faced she is quite effective in the role. The Stendhal Syndrome did not come up on the IMDB horror movie list much to my surprise! After this re-watch I understand why; The Stendhal Syndrome really is a dramatic thriller not a horror film. The Stendhal Syndrome is not without some plot issues, but is well paced, beautifully filmed with gorgeous sets and is a fascinating, unsettling and at times brutal bit of goodness.

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#6 THE FRIGHTENERS
Directed By: Peter Jackson

The Frighteners is a wacky horror-comedy about an architect named Frank Bannister who after surviving a car wreck that kills his wife has the ability to communicate with ghosts. The architect becomes a ghostbusting con man who uses the spirits to haunt residents that he than exorcises for cash. It is all fun and games until a malevolent spirit shows up. Frank tries to help the victims as he is able to see a number on their foreheads prior to their deaths and becomes suspect himself. Eccentric and obsessive FBI agent Milton Dammers is brought in to work on the case. The Frighteners is well-written, humorous, creepy, and has outrageous characters and great effects. Nicely cast too especially Jeffrey Combs who is absolutely brilliant as the insane FBI agent Dammers. Boo-haha!

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#5 RUBBER’S LOVER
Directed By: Shozin Fukui

Shozin Fukui’s 964 Pinocchio earned the number four slot for my favourites of 1991. Fukui’s Rubber’s Lover is a prequel of sorts to 964 Pinocchio and is an equally hallucinatory trip! Like its predecessor; Rubber’s Lover is a highly visual, incredibly weird, graphic and violent cyberpunk entry. Rubber’s Lover focuses on a group of psychotic scientists conducting twisted experiments using sensory depravation and mind-altering drugs to torture their unfortunate and involuntary patients. Their experiments are dangerous and brutal and inevitably result in calamity. Filmed in black and white with a heavy emphasis on metal, gears and fetishism. Do not stand; Keep your arms inside the vehicle at all times and your seatbelt securely fastened.

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#4 DON’T LOOK UP
Directed By: Hideo Nakata

It is like Don’t Look Up never existed. I could not find a trailer or a single clip for this film on YouTube; only its god-awful disaster of a remake from 2007 showed up in searches. This original directed by Hideo Nakata is virtually impossible to find and doesn’t seem to have ever had a release on DVD. What a shame because I think it is one of Nakata’s best. A crew filming in an old studio reviews the rushes from a day of shooting and it appears some old film stock has become intermingled with their new shots. The director recognizes the old footage from something he had watched on television as a child. He becomes obsessed with the images and learns the film was never finished. I seeked out this well-made, thoughtful and eerie supernatural tale on the strong recommendation of Wednesday’s Child over at 90s Horror (and Deep Red Rum) and it was no easy task to find! I am certainly not in the habit of doing such things, but this was such a great little film I have decided to post the link to where I was able to watch it online (click here). For fans of Japanese ghost stories I think it is well worth a watch.

don't look up

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#3 TESIS
Directed By: Alejandro Amenábar

Tesis did not come up on the IMDB horror film search and definitely leans towards a mystery-thriller but I think the film’s theme qualifies it enough to be here. Angela is a film student working on a thesis of violence in media at the University Complutense (the same University its director Alejandro Amenábar attended in real life). Through her research she discovers a video where a former student of the university is brutally killed. Her investigation of the material draws her into a heinous snuff ring. The film’s tagline is “My name is Angela. They’re going to kill me.” Which should give you some idea of where the story inevitable goes. The excellent performances from Ana Torrent, Fele Martínez and the handsome Eduardo Noriega (who would go on to star in Amenábar’s excellent Open Your Eyes) are all top notch. Tesis is smart, thrilling, suspenseful and an exceptionally well acted film from Spain that is well worth checking out.

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#2 SCREAM
Directed By: Wes Craven

Scream satirizes the horror genre and its many clichés. Based ever so loosely on The Gainesville Ripper and taking place in the fictional town of Woodsboro; it focuses on central character Sidney Prescott whose mother was killed one year previously. When teenagers from the town begin turning up dead Sidney begins to think that the crimes may be related to her mother’s death. An estranged father, her mother’s ex-lover and even her friends are all suspects. Scream was a huge commercial success and brought renewed interest to the genre; sadly it also seems to have birthed a series of irritating, stupid nonsense like I Know What You Did Last Summer, Valentine and Urban Legend but nonetheless Scream is a funny, clever and nasty film that is damn entertaining.

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#1 FROM DUSK TIL DAWN
Directed By: Robert Rodriguez

Bad-ass Brothers Richie and Seth Gecko are wanted men looking for a way to cross the border. As luck would have it a pastor questioning his faith and his two children show up in a motorhome. The Gecko’s take the family hostage and successfully cross the border to meet up with their contact at a remote strip club called the Titty Twister. Unfortunately for the group the Titty Twister happens to be a nest for a whole lotta vicious and nasty vampires. I love how From Dusk til Dawn starts out as a crime thriller and evolves into a full frontal horror flick. From Dusk til Dawn is action-packed, violent, nasty, well-paced, full of dark humour, has great effects and is perfectly cast. Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, George Clooney, Ernest Liu, Quentin Tarantino and cameos from the likes of Cheech Marin, Michael Parks, Salma Hayek, John Saxon, Danny Trejo, Fred Williamson and Tom Savini. And it has pussy; hot pussy, cold pussy, wet pussy, smelly pussy, snapping pussy…come on in pussy lovers…From Dusk til Dawn is a shitload of bloody fun!

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KILLER CONDOM (1996) – The Dungeon Review!

Posted in Germany, horror, movies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2013 by goregirl

killer condom posterGood old Troma and their soup of cheap, sleazy and tasteless titles. I have watched many Troma flicks for this 90s feature and a few were featured on my worst of 1990 – 1995 lists. Most of my favourite Troma titles are their 80s fare but I have in fact discovered a few I have enjoyed through the 90s and Killer Condom is one such example. Killer Condom is based on the comic book of the same name by Ralf König. Apparently H. R. Giger was a creative consultant on the project. I have no fecking idea where Giger’s influences come in but I am sure Killer Condom’s awesome film poster would not lie to me!

A college professor takes a student to a sleazy hotel and propositions her to bump her grade up to a pass if she will have sex with him. He slips on a condom as she watches horrified and crying. Suddenly the professor is screaming bloody murder. This is the opening scene of Killer Condom. Apparently three other men lost their penises that evening at the sleazy motel. The police have three prostitutes and the student (evidently the student is from Farmville Oklahoma) in custody. They put Luigi Mackaroni on the case. Needless to say the police force finds the women’s stories of killer condoms too crazy to take seriously. Luigi heads to the hotel to do a little investigating. Luigi Mackaroni is a man who knows the streets of New York; a well-seasoned, chain smoking openly gay detective who is well known at this particular hotel. While he is investigating the crime scene he invites up a handsome young gigolo. As they are about to engage in sex using one of the gigolo’s own condoms the hotel condom screams in protest and leaps off of the bedside table. Next thing you know Luigi is one nut short! Fortunately it is only a nut that Luigi loses to the toothy prophylactic! Phew! Having seen it with his own eyes Luigi sets out to rid the city of the rubber menace. Even Luigi’s own personal account is laughed at by his peers; that is until Luigi actually manages to shoot one down. According to the station’s coroner the killer condoms are not condoms at all but man-created organisms with brain matter and collapsible teeth that they can retract when they are pretending to be unassuming condoms. So much for safe sex! The hilarious scene where the coroner explains all of this was far too elaborate to relay in detail but it was funny as hell! Who created the killer condoms and for what purpose?! It is up to Detective Mackaroni to find out before half of New York’s male population loses their shlongs!

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While Killer Condom definitely has a sleazy vibe and a bloody outrageous premise neither the violence nor nudity is graphic. It is more campy than exploitative really. We see a few detached penises but we never see any graphic penis removals. The full frontal nudity never goes full frontal either. I don’t think I recall a single naked breast. But than again this one really isn’t about the ladies. What a refreshing change to have a menace that does not target women. The one and only woman attacked is a Croatian tourist who is bit on the nose.

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Udo Samel who plays Luigi Mackaroni is great! I really love that guy! He is the German Bob Hoskins and a confident, funny and likable character that among his other assets can take a chug of his scotch with a smoke in his mouth and apparently has a massive cock. Okay, it probably isn’t the most politically correct film as they do call the guy Luigi Mackaroni and they play a little pseudo-Godfather theme song every time he reminisces about his home in Italy or his mother. Luigi is simply a gay man who wants to be respected and understood. Luigi Mackaroni is my hero! Leonard Lansink who plays Bob “please call me Babette” Miller is a cross-dressing ex-lover of Luigi’s and is also a great character that me made me laugh often. Marc Richter doesn’t speak a whole lot but he is enjoyable enough as Luigi’s hot young gigolo lover Billy.

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Killer Condom is German and is spoken completely in the German language. In fact one of my main bones to pick with this one is the white subtitles are very difficult to see on many of the backgrounds. I hate when I have to strain to see subtitles dammit! Yeah, so it is a German film spoken in German that is set in New York?! There are twists and turns and a helluva crazy ending that I loved. I was a little disappointed the finale was so brief though; it seemed to me that they could have cut back a bit from the mid-section and made this section a little lengthier.

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Killer Condom is a decent enough looking film that uses some really bleak and unappealing New York backgrounds that suit it perfectly. The only real effects are the condoms and a few severed penises other than what they throw in the finale. The finale features a super Luigi sized killer condom, a mad scientist and a self-righteous pious villain. I really love the condoms though! They are a bunch of adorable little rubbers that make giggly cartoony noises…at least until their teeth come out and they bite your penis off! If that isn’t enough it has a love story and a heart warming happy ending! Ha! Call me nuts but this film kept my attention and made me laugh often. I had to chuckle at one review I read that said the film took itself too seriously. Sure, the film has a deadpan delivery but that is all part of the Shtick! Clearly a film called Killer Condom is not taking itself seriously nor is it going to appeal to everyone. Personally I enjoyed the heck out of Killer Condom! Recommended!

Dungeon Rating: 3.5/5

Directed By: Martin Walz

Starring: Udo Samel, Peter Lohmeyer, Marc Richter, Leonard Lansink, Iris Berben, Henning Schlüter, Ron Williams, Ralf Wolter, Adriana Altaras, Evelyn Künneke, Gerd Wameling, Meret Becker