Fifty Wishes – The Horror Film Edition
It is day four of my vacation and I had a bit of downtime to type something up. I had a four hour layover in Edmonton early Saturday morning. I probably should have been sleeping. I just wasn’t comfortable sleeping in the arrivals area and departures didn’t open until 4 a.m.; so I sat around drinking coffee and wrote up this list. I swiped the idea for this post from John over at The Droid You’re Looking For. There are a hell of a lot of things I wish for in horror films; coming up with 50 was a piece of cake.
#1. I wish Vincent Price’s IMDB page didn’t show he was “known for” The Hollywood Squares, Mystery, Edward Scissorhands and Basil the Great Mouse Detective.
#2. I wish Christopher Lee’s IMDB page didn’t show he is “known for” Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.
#3. I wish all of Dario Argento’s films were as good as his pre-1990s films.
#4. I wish the term “torture porn” would go away.
#5. I wish using CGI blood was outlawed.
#6. I wish more films used practical effects instead of CGI.
#7. I wish they made less PG-rated horror films.
#8. I wish Bela Lugosi had gotten more respect.
#9. I wish all high school themed horror films were as good as Carrie.
#10. I wish less horror films were centered on teenagers and 20-somethings.
#11. I wish there was a new scream queen as good as Barbara Steele.
#12. I wish more nunsploitation films lived up to their exploitative promises.
#13. I wish Oliver Reed had been in more horror films.
#14. I wish there were more haunted house flicks as good as The Legend of Hell House.
#15. I wish all soundtracks were as good as Suspiria.
#16. I wish Universal still made horror films as good as Frankenstein, Dracula and The Wolf Man.
#17. I wish people appreciated foreign horror as much as I do.
#18. I wish I Know What You Did Last Summer was never made.
#19. I wish there were more female directors.
#20. I wish they would stop re-making horror films and come up with their own goddamn ideas.
#21. I wish my generation had a Boris Karloff.
#22. I wish films scared me like they used to.
#23. I wish there were more zombie films as good as Dawn of the Dead.
#24. I wish they would stop making exorcism films.
#25. I wish David Cronenberg would make another horror film.
#26. I wish Giallo never died.
#27. I wish there were more devil worship flicks.
#28. I wish someone would make a horror film with a serial killer that was like Charles Bronson’s Harmonica character in Once Upon a Time in the West.
#29. I wish there were more good films about witchcraft.
#30. I wish there were more female killers.
#31. I wish there were more good horror films made after 1990.
#32. I wish they made more horror films for people who are actually horror fans.
#33. I wish more horror comedies were actually funny.
#34. I wish endings took me by surprise more often.
#35. I wish there was a new director as awesome as Lucio Fulci.
#36. I wish more films had moments like the lawnmower scene in Dead Alive.
#37. I wish more characters had a weapon for an appendage.
#38. I wish there were more films where everyone dies at the end.
#39. I wish more horror films made it to the theatre.
#40. I wish foreign horror films were easier to acquire.
#41. I wish there were more Stephen King adaptations that were as good as The Shining.
#42. I wish the newly revived Hammer made films as good as the old Hammer.
#43. I wish they would stop making ball-less vampire films.
#44. I wish someone would make a film about a race of skinless people.
#45. I wish there were more zombie films that had zombies underwater.
#46. I wish someone would make an epic full length animated Lovecraft adaptation.
#47. I wish there were more serial killer films as good as Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.
#48. I wish that sequels were always made by the director of the original.
#49. I wish telling people I have a horror blog didn’t end a conversation quite so often.
#50. I wish more people appreciated the horror genre as much as I do.