GOREGIRL-FRIENDLY FILM COUPLES

Valentine’s Day is dumb. I have always loathed the idea of picking flowers out of the ground to watch them die in a vase, and while I enjoy chocolate occasionally I’m a salty snack person. Even as a child I thought the selection of cheesy heart covered gifts offered were just lame. But I suppose I’m not your average gal. I avoid romantic comedies and love stories in general. I love the love as much as the next person, but the gaggy, ridiculous and ultimately unrealistic syrupy way they are presented makes me want to vomit. So in honor of this pseudo holiday I don’t get a day off work for, where we are expected to profess our love with over-priced junk and false Hallmark sentiment, I give you a list of film couples who are in love and have great chemistry but don’t make me feel like retching.

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JOE and KATE From PSYCHOS IN LOVE (1987)
Carmine Capobianco & Debi Thibeault
Two serial killers who both passionately hate grapes meet, fall in love and move in together. This low budget horror-comedy is loads of fun and proves there is someone out there for everyone.

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TIFFANY and CHUCKY From BRIDE OF CHUCKY (1998)
Jennifer Tilly & Brad Dourif
He’s a serial killer whose soul has resided in a Chucky doll since 1988. Finally Chucky gets lucky when the voluptuous Tiffany also gets transformed inside a doll. Dolls or not, these two were clearly meant to be. This film is silly as hell but I love it and Tiffany and Chucky have better chemistry than most real actors!

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HARRY and KATE From ANGEL BABY (1995)
John Lynch & Jacqueline McKenzie
Two schizophrenics meet, fall in love, get pregnant, and go off their meds. This Australian film is equal parts sweet, funny, hopeful and emotionally exhausting and depressing. Angel Baby is not typical Goregirl fare but thanks to its excellent leads who really bare all it was a pleasant and bittersweet surprise.

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MICHELE AND SNAKE From H (1990)
Pascale Montpetit & Martin Neufeld
In attempt to kick heroin for good Snake barricades himself and girlfriend Michele in their apartment to “dry out”. This Canadian film is a very claustrophic, intense look at addiction. Theirs is a relationship based on co-dependence that connects them in a unique way as we watch them bare their souls. Pascale Montpetit outshines Martin Neufeld’s performance but regardless the couple is well-matched and believable.

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MICKEY and MALLORY KNOX From NATURAL BORN KILLERS (1994)
Woody Harrelson & Juliette Lewis
Mickey saves Mallory from her abusive father and together they travel across America killing randomly for kicks. This bloody film is on too many lists, but dammit, I love Mickey and Mallory. Juliette Lewis and Woody Harrelson are perfectly cast here. I love the films biting commentary and its parade of sleazy characters, but it is the criminally likable duo that makes it all work.

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LIONEL COSGROVE and PAQUITA MARIA SANCHEZ From DEAD ALIVE (1992)
Timothy Balme & Diana Peñalver
Mama’s boy Lionel meets the lovely Paquita and takes her on a date to the zoo. Unfortunately his crazy mom is spying on them and gets bit by a Sumatran Rat Monkey. Mom turns into a zombie and causes all manner of chaos but in the end, Lionel grows some balls and gets the girl. Not much time is spent on the love story between Lionel and Paquita, but they are both awkwardly adorable and it is their story that actually motivates the action.

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JACK SKELLINGTON and SALLY From THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993)
Chris Sarandon & Catherine O’Hara
One of my favourite animated films of all time! I love its dark gothic presentation and how it manages so well to balance sweetness and darkness. With the great Chris Sarandon and Catherine O’Hara voicing the adorable couple how could they not be endearing?

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CHERRY DARLING and WRAY From PLANET TERROR (2007)
Rose McGowan & Freddy Rodríguez
Cherry just quit her stripping gig and meets up with ex-boyfriend Wray at a little roadside eatery. A zombie outbreak forces them to work together which inevitably revives the relationship. Wray handles fire arms like a pro and Cherry has a gun for a leg. I think these two are just so darn-diddley adorable and that cheesy ending for their storyline is a little hokey, but it worked.

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LULA FORTUNE and SAILOR RIPLEY From WILD AT HEART (1990)
Laura Dern & Nicolas Cage
No one does a love story quite like David Lynch! Lula and Sailor are passionately in love, but Lula’s wicked mama Marietta isn’t having any of it. Fresh out of jail, Sailor skips out on probation to take his girl to California for some fun. Strange characters and violence threaten to break their bond forever. Laura Dern and Nicolas Cage are positively electric together as Lula and Sailor. One of my favourite films of all time!

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SETH BRUNDLE and VERONICA QUAIFE From THE FLY (1986)
Jeff Goldblum & Geena Davis
Eccentric scientist Seth Brundle convinces Journalist Veronica Quaife to document his latest experiment. Brundle has created a machine that can successfully transport matter from one pod to another. Whilst documenting Veronica develops an intimate relationship with Seth, which is hindered by the fact that he is turning into a fly. Cronenberg’s remake of The Fly has amazing effects and a great mood but a big part of what makes it work is its two leads. Their relationship feels genuine and natural and I always thought that was a big part of what made this film work.

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5 Responses to “GOREGIRL-FRIENDLY FILM COUPLES”

  1. I am kinda sad you left off True Romance and Raising Arizona.

  2. I would think you’re just the type of person that would enjoy a vase of dead flowers Goregirl! HAHA!

    Now seeing all the comments about True Romance makes me want to break out the flick and watch it. I think I’ll save that for my Valentines film this year since I already did Natural Born Killers last year. Easily my favorite couple on this list!

    • Well, this is going to make me unpopular! Although I really like TRUE ROMANCE, frankly, I didn’t love Arquette and Slater as a duo. I’m just not a fan of Slater as a rule. Arquette is freaking adorable in this film though…but my favourite scene in the film…BY FAR…is the “Italian” conversation between Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken.

  3. Howsa bout Dominique Pinon & Marie-Laure Dougnac in DELICATESSEN? They perform a musical saw/cello duet and fight off cannibals!

    Another sweet but non-gag-inducing couple are Su-jeong & Rain in I’M A CYBORG BUT THAT’S OK. It’s my favorite romantic comedy, being that it’s set in that most romantic of settings: a mental institution!

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