The Worst of the 90s (1990 – 1992)
This 90s feature has been a big old love fest for the most part. I have posted very few reviews for films I have disliked. I have seen dozens of films I hated and I thought it was about time I shared. Since I don’t really want to dedicate much time to these duds I chose three from each year that I thought were particularly poopy. With so many to choose from it was actually difficult deciding which three were the worst of the worst. I have included trailers and clips to speak for me; easy for me and I hope entertaining for you…
Soultaker (1990)
Directed By: Michael Rissi
Starring: Joe Estevez, Vivian Schilling, Gregg Thomsen
Bad in every respect and more holes in it than Swiss cheese and that ain’t the only cheesy thing about Soultaker. “You must track them and you must abide by the rules of time and space.”
Skinned Alive (1990)
Directed By: Jon Killough
Starring: Mary Jackson, Scott Spiegel, Susan Rothacker
A psycho-ala-Texaschainsawmassacre type family scenario featuring bad people doing bad things often in broad daylight. Darkness would have been a friend to Skinned Alive.
Maniac Nurses (1990)
Directed By: Léon Paul De Bruyn
Starring: Susanna Makay, Hajni Brown, Celia Farago
I fell asleep through this film twice! I finally got through it on try number three. How could a film with this premise be so freaking dull?! The trailer makes the film look sorta fun! Maniac Nurses does not have nearly as much nudity and violence as the trailer seems to suggest and the editing is epically bad.
A few other titles I gave a failing grade to from 1990: Lisa, The Final Sacrifice, A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell, Disturbed, Mister Frost, Hard to Die, Metamorphosis, Night Angel, Shadowzone, Pledge Night, Vampire Cop, Evil Spirits, Pale Blood, La Casa 5
XTRO II: The Second Encounter (1991)
Directed By: Harry Bromley Davenport
Starring: Jan-Michael Vincent, Paul Koslo, Tara Buckman
I actually enjoyed the original Xtro as corny as it was so I thought I would give the sequel a go. Xtro II: The Second Encounter may be one of the worst sequels of all time. Unless I missed something it seems to have no connection to the first film whatsoever.
Zombie ’90: Extreme Pestilence (1991)
Directed By: Andreas Schnaas
Starring: Matthias Kerl, Ralf Hess, Mathias Abbes
This will not be the only Andreas Schnaas film on this list. I am actually concerned about Andreas Schnaas’ mental health. Unbelievably utter vile dreck. This is a fan trailer…
Dead Space (1991)
Directed By: Fred Gallo
Starring: Marc Singer, Laura Mae Tate, Bryan Cranston
I had to laugh at the comment accompanying this clip stating this was “the best 110 seconds in the entire movie which should give you a good idea about what to expect”. Could not agree more. Bloody hell there were some pretty bad space-themed flicks from the decade!
A few other titles I gave a failing grade to from 1991: Brain Twisters, Voodoo Dawn, Killer Tomatoes Strike Back, Zombie Cop, Alligator II: The Mutation, Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, Dolly Dearest, Scissors
Violent Shit II (1992)
Directed By: Andreas Schnaas
Starring: Anke Prothmann, Andreas Schnaas, Claudia von Bihl
Ugly, badly filmed, slow, disgusting, disturbing atrocious garbage. Here is just a sampling. It is Violent Shit alright, heavy emphasis on the Shit. WARNING: This clip is NASTY and it ain’t the nastiest.
Cthulhu Mansion (1992)
Directed By: Juan Piquer Simón
Starring: Frank Finlay, Marcia Layton, Luis Fernando Alvés
I was super excited to check out Juan Piquer Simón’s Cthulhu Mansion! I am a big fan of his films Pieces and Slugs: The Movie. What a monster disappointed! This film is about as Lovecraftesque as The Tigger Movie. There isn’t even much gore, which is what makes Simón’s films so fun (it ain’t the acting I assure you). The only good thing I could say about this film is the mansion was pretty neato. One of the worst Lovecraft-inspired films I’ve ever seen. IMDB lists the film as 1992, whoever posted the trailer has noted 1990, but I assure you it is the same film. To be honest, this trailer makes the film look kinda appealing but here it is anyway.
The Weekend It Lives (aka Ax Em) (1992)
Directed By: Michael Mfume
Starring: Michael Mfume, Sandra Pulley, Joe Clair
This film left me completely speechless. As much as I disliked every single film on this list, I think that The Weekend It Lives may be the most incompetently made film I have ever seen. Seriously. Here’s a clip…
A few other films I gave a failing grade to from 1992: Hellraiser III, Evil Toons, Bloodlust, Critters 4, 976-Evil II, Scanners III: The Takeover, Severed Ties, Hellmaster, Netherworld
February 6, 2013 at 8:21 pm
I laughed out loud when I saw “Violent Shit II” on this list. I didn’t even know there was a first Violent Shit.
Also, it surely sucks, but the title “A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell” sure sounds intriguing.
I love 90s films- I really do- but it’s a really hard decade to defend when it comes to horror.
February 7, 2013 at 1:55 pm
Yep…and rounding out the franchise is Violent Shit 3: Infantry of Doom (I took a pass on watching that one!) Well, I like plenty of Troma films, but A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell was real dumb…did make me laugh a few times though. The effects must be seen to be beleived. It got a fair amount of love in the comments section on IMDB.
February 6, 2013 at 8:30 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one who dislikes “Critters 4.” How did they lost it after the surprisingly good third installment?
February 7, 2013 at 2:00 pm
Can’t say I am really a fan of the Critters series. To be honest I only watched it because I found it on YouTube…well that and it had Brad Dourif in it who I am rather fond of.
February 6, 2013 at 11:04 pm
I dunno, The Weekend It Lives does look pretty damn bad, but judging solely on the trailers, Zombie ’90: Extreme Pestilence takes the cake. WTF is up with the dubbing? ahaha
I had the same comment in my head as John about A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell. I’d watch it at least once.
February 7, 2013 at 2:03 pm
Good luck with The Weekend it Lives. Zombie 90 is a “fan” trailer…the dubbing gave me a chuckle actually. And apparently the film has a fan.
February 7, 2013 at 4:07 pm
Yea, apparently. And I forgot to mention how sad I was for Marc Singer after seeing the trailer with him in it. It was like 60 minutes of him wandering around bunch of fog.
February 7, 2013 at 4:16 am
What were people in the 90′s thinking??? All of these trailers were awful apart from Cthulhu Mansion.
February 7, 2013 at 2:09 pm
There were more entertaining films in the 90s than I recalled but there was just as much shit as I remembered too!! Yeah, I watched that Cthulhu Mansion trailer before watching the film. I think the whole selling it like it has something to do with Lovecraft is probably making me hate this film more than it deserves. Nah. Although I did not mention there is a pretty neat shower drowning scene.
February 7, 2013 at 6:36 am
The Weekend It Lives looks hilarious though. You can barely make out what the old man is rambling about but it made me laugh. I may have to check it out.
February 7, 2013 at 2:14 pm
That clip is sorta amusing. Sound is like that throughout. I suspect they only used the camera’s built-in mic for sound.
February 7, 2013 at 7:31 am
Love it!!
February 7, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Isaac – You are a man of few words…93 – 95 tomorrow!
February 7, 2013 at 2:19 pm
I look forward to it!
February 7, 2013 at 8:14 am
You deserve sainthood or cookies for sitting through the worst movies in the worst decade for horror. Boring tepid junk from the studios, awful shot-on-video junk from underground neophyte-directors. And so much of it wasn’t even entertaingly bad (Death Metal Zombies and Grim are exceptions!!), just super-boring. The Witchcraft Sequels Decade, ugh…
February 7, 2013 at 2:25 pm
I’ll take cookies. I was not really intending to do this post and wasn’t keeping very good notes on the crap I disliked from the first few years. There are so many more than what I noted! I don’t think I share your enthusiasm for Grim (it is very likely going on my 95 worst list)…but Death Metal Zombies…well, add a group of friends and alcohol and…well…um…it is still bad…but amusingly so.
February 7, 2013 at 10:20 am
Funny stuff! I’m glad I skipped most of these,but bless your heart for watching them. I too enjoyed the first Xtro film,and wow,Xtro II turned out to be a lousy film and a huge ripoff! Of I hadn’t rented that film,I would have burned the VHS pre-record! I love Pieces and Slug:The Movie,so never expected Cthulhu Mansion to be such a crushing disappointment. Not even Frank Finlay could save it!
February 7, 2013 at 2:37 pm
My notes for 90 – 92 were a disaster! I had put a line through the titles I failed, the films I didn’t see AND the ones I didn’t need to rewatch!! UGH!! I wish I had not done that! Fortunately I started making a note for the ones I failed starting 93. I think I am really holding a grudge over the whole Cthulhu spin…I was expecting…well ya know…LOVECRAFT kinda stuff. But also…slow. Where was the gore…or the effects period? The shower drowning was neat though.
February 7, 2013 at 10:37 am
Thanks for the heads up on Cthulhu Mansion, I think i had that in my Amazon wish list.
February 7, 2013 at 2:44 pm
It goes without saying this is strictly my own opinion….but I assure you one thing…you aren’t getting anything that even remotely resembles Lovecraft here.
February 7, 2013 at 11:34 pm
That’s why it was pm y lost, it’s not anymore.
February 7, 2013 at 3:17 pm
Well, there’s a minute and 33 seconds of my life that I’ll never get back.
February 9, 2013 at 12:43 am
There are many hours there I will never get back
February 8, 2013 at 1:15 am
As a Lovecraftian I can honestly say that Cthulhu Mansion is now at on the top ten list of things that make me sad.
Violent Shit is a series that will live in depressing terrible shot on shiteo quality. If you want to see it all vicariously, go check out The Cinema Snob videos on it.
Thanks for the horrible horror!
February 9, 2013 at 1:02 am
I got the overwhelming urge to drink a bottle of drano afterwards, but I watched a film called Violent Shit II; I have no one to blame but myself.
February 9, 2013 at 3:27 am
Indeed, though I wouldn’t drink Drano if you want to avoid violent shit in any sense. :C
February 8, 2013 at 11:22 am
he’s the SOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Taker!
February 9, 2013 at 1:58 am
He sure is!